Lexxie: Drama Queen Gets a Haircut!

Let's face it when most of us go to a Hair Salon, we're excited.  It's makeover time: a new haircut, maybe new colour to create a whole new look; it's all good!  Somehow when I pull out our Lulu Bag of Grooming Tools, Lexxie always attempts or tries to make a fast exit. She doesn't buy-in to the make-over concept.

Going somewhere Lexxie?

 Paul and I are dumbfounded, but not surprised when Lexxie, AKA the Drama Queen (DQ), does her 'dead man walking' routine.

Paul, put down the book! Lexxie has escaped!

Why does she feel so threatened by our attempts to make her into her birthright: a poodle? It seems she would be just as happy being a dust mop, rather than a groomed poodle. Desperate times, call for desperate measures. Paul and I know we're not trained 'groomers', but "necessity is the mother of invention." Living in Ethiopia has transformed us into reluctant groomers. Lexxie attempts to run, but she cannot hide. She behaved the same way in Ottawa when I took her in for grooming. She shakes like a leaf, yelps when you pick her up and uncontrollably displays her 'Elvis' curl when we touch her feet. We don't take it personally. She's just being a DQ.  Sunday marked the day slated for "poodle clean-up" and Paul and I were the reluctant dispensers of this honour.

Paul began by brushing her:

All smiles: the calm before the storm.

 For those of you who are familiar with the 'Elvis' curl, you will notice the beginnings of one in the picture below. She doesn't like anyone touching or brushing her legs so she's getting ready to lunge and her mouth is beginning to curl into a snarl. The good thing (for Paul!) is she doesn't try to bite, but rather, tries to nudge or lick the hand away. The 'Elvis' curl is her attempt to appear vicious or threatening.  It rarely works!

I dare you to touch me with that brush.

There's no turning back now.  Paul has out the razor. We need the razor for her face and judging by her expression she doesn't agree and definitely doesn't like it.  Oh well, just add it to the list.  She hates everything connected to grooming.

I'm warning you.  Don't let that razor touch me.

She's only 4.1 kilo grams so her struggle with Paul is moot. Her expression and overall body language let you know she is not enjoying it one bit. You can't tell from a picture because our camera has motion stability, but she is just shaking like a leaf. She doesn't appear to have a tail and her back foot is balanced at the very edge of our cooler-table as she is just looking for the chance to take flight.  The very picture of a stressed DQ.

Disclaimer: To all would be poodle groomers, don't be distracted by the panting, the shaking, the whining and the lolling tongue.  These are just normal DQ tactics.  Remember: No poodle was hurt during the hair removal process.

Are you even listening? I said don't touch.

Little help here Ma! I'm starting to hyperventilate.

No, seriously, make him stop. My tongue is starting to restrict my breathing.

My tongue keeps growing and my hair is falling out. HELP!

....and the poodle is re-born or close enough.

Now that it's over she is so forgiving as she tears around the house, shaking off loose hair and rolling off the effects of her imagined torture. She even stops this typical routine (I'm free at last!) to pose for a shot of Paul's handiwork. Paul is becoming quite an accomplished groomer. In earlier attempts he left behind sideburns, which sadly, I missed too during my inspection. A lot of help I am. That caused a lot of laughter as the girls began calling her 'Wolverine'.  But these blunders have made Paul a better groomer and me, a better inspector.  Wolverine sideburns (as we affectionately refer to them as), and any excess hair, find their way to piles on the floor. Despite it all, we feel she's a lot better off; short term 'pain' for long term gain.

She twirls as her ears swirl around her head.

OK, I hear you. I'm beautiful, yada, yada, yada. But I still don't like grooming.

I'm begging you on my knees. No more grooming!

Oh yes, Lexxie is a Drama Queen! She can do all the begging she likes, but when her hair grows out again and she begins to resemble a dust mop, Paul and I will be back in business.